petition to remake all of the twilight movies where everything is the same except that bella is played by john mulaney who has not been given a script and just has to deal with these circumstances as they come.
john: (walks into the classroom)
edward:
john:
don’t u mean
I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED THIS
Omfg I’m dying
*Edward comes into Bella’s room that one night to creepily kiss her in order to test his self-control*
Edward: I just wanna try one thing. Be very still…don’t move.
John as Bella: *flops to the ground and kicks upward to fight off attacker according to the infinite wisdom of Detective JJ Bittenbinder*
Edward: My family, we’re different from others of our kind. We only drink animal blood, but it’s your scent. It’s like a drug to me. It’s like you’re my own personal brand of heroine.
